Deployment Length and the right to support

Can somebody pleeease tell me why it is only okay to seek out support if your spouse deploys for 12-15 months? Not everybody gets that option. My husband for example deploys individually. His deployments are shorter, but he deploys more frequently. His last deployment was for six months, and he's been home six months. We barely recieved word that he'll be leaving asap for a nine month deployment again. because it is only a nine month deployment, he won't be eligible for R&R. BUT, because it's only a nine month deployment I've been made to feel like I don't get the right to support, or to be upset. It's frustrating. We're still missing our second christmas in a row, he'll still miss B's second birthday just like he missed his first, he wont' be there for I's first birthday either. I understand that most of this is par for the course. But what is usually par for the course is the ability to commiserate with others who are going through the same seperation. I don't get that opportunity, and generally it doesn't bother me as much, but today it's irking me to no end. Not to mention that after he gets back, he'll still only get a few months stabilization before he's gone again. What's more is that because he deploys individually, his unit's FRG is of no help at all. As a matter of fact, when he was injured on his last deployment and was meddivaced out for surgery, it was I who called his unit to inform them, not the other way around.

Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier if he was part of a normal unit. He could deploy with people he knows and trusts, and I wouldn't have to feel like I have no right to miss him. Not to mention how nice it would be not to get dirty looks from the women whose husbands are gone in the commissary when he's home and shopping with me. I don't shoot them dirty looks when their husbands are home when mine isn't.

Sometimes the military community can be the greatest place in the world, but there are times, and now feels like one of them, where it's a case of one upping each other over whose got it the worst. Why can't we just agree that our lives are difficult in general and be miserable together? While I don't envy you your fifteen month deployments, my nine month deployment with five children, overseas isn't exactly a picnic either.